Woman Shopping Makeup Beauty Store

A love of makeup can make us do crazy things, and being surrounded by a rainbow of palettes and powders upon entry into any Sephora can bring out our inner beauty beast in seconds flat. Here is a breakdown of what happens to us all — whether we’re noob Beauty Insiders or pro-level Sephora VIBs.

1. You enter the dragon’s lair with a few practical things on your mental shopping list. “Just a refill on my foundation and an eyelash curler, please and thank you,” you tell yourself.

Jon Snow GIF

2. You say, “No, thank you,” to the lovely cast member (that’s her actual title, BTW) who offers you a basket because you’re just here for foundation, an eyelash curler and maybe that blue-based red lipstick she’s wearing, because it’s stunning.

3. IT BEGINS.

4. You notice they’ve rearranged the store, moving the Urban Decay display to the front, where you can easily see they are having a build-your-own palette special.

5. You dip one finger into dreamy orange Fireball. (A finger, not a tester brush. Because remember, you’re not shopping for eye shadow. Just foundation, an eyelash curler and definitely that red lipstick.) Oh, how it sparkles.

Kylie Minogue GIF

6. You play the “I just want to hold it” game that you used to play as a kid to see if your mom would break down and buy you a toy if you took it to the register with sad puppy-dog eyes.

7. Then you realize you’re a grown-up with your own money and you can treat yourself for all the adulting you did this week. Plus, you have a Sephora gift card and gifts are meant to be enjoyed, right?

8. And then you remember the Sephora return policy that lets you bring back any item, even if it’s open and used, for a full refund. So if you can’t pull off that Fireball like you pictured, there’s no risk. You’d be insane not to get it.

9. You finally locate the red lipstick and notice it has a sister — a sultry, deep merlot. You test it out on your hand.

Raven Symone Flirting GIF

10. You think, “What type of eye would I wear with this?” You test a matte gray shadow on your hand.

11. You test a bronze blush. It’s too bronze.

12. You test a mauve.

13. That would go perfectly with a plum lip. You test a plum lip.

14. You suffer a test-frenzy-induced blackout and come to with a full-blown swatch hand.

Kristen Wiig SNL GIF

15. “Hi. Yes, I will take a basket after all, thanks.” She actually has to hold the basket for you while you empty your grimy little hands into it.

16. A cast member notices you using the complimentary makeup remover to return your hand to its normal monochrome hue and reminds you about the magic that is Sephora Color IQ, no swatch hand required.

Princess Leia GIF

17. Exhausted, you get in line to buy the stuff in your basket.

18. You see a charcoal face mask while in line, and you obviously need that too.

19. You blow all your Beauty Insider points on a face-primer sample. Something’s gotta keep all this in place!

20. You say goodbye to enough money to make packing your lunch for an entire month seem like a great idea. Who cares? You’ll be the most stunning sandwich-eater in the office.Anchor Man GIF

21. You leave.

22. You get home.

23. You realize you forgot the foundation and eyelash curler.

WWE No GIF24. But it’s OK! You can continue this shopping spree online with Cash Back at Ebates, Sephora coupons and your Color IQ to be sure all your color selections are perfectly suited for your skin tone.

25. You wonder why you didn’t do this in the first place.

26. You remember. You miss your swatch hand.

Katy Perry Sad GIF

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Briana Hernandez
Briana is a shopaholic whose newest obsession is matching top-and-skirt sets (but she also can’t resist a good jumpsuit). She loves rock music, horror movies and is an all-around pop culture junkie. She is, without fail, always down for karaoke. Her blog, Mamafierce, is a chronicle of personal fashion, body positivity and the adventures of motherhood. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, three-year-old son and tortoiseshell cat, Divvy.

4 Comments

  1. You’re making it seem like women cannot control their spending habits and I take offense to that, even if you meant to be cheeky here.
    I LOVE Sephora, and I am one of the MULTITUDES of women who go IN for what they want and OUT just as easily!
    YES they have eye-catching displays, yes they do move around brands a lot, and yes, their “cast-members” are very aggravating in their sales techniques (even when they have no vested interest-no percentages earned here on sales!), but it’s possible to be even keeled here and mature enough to shop responsibly…

  2. So funny and well written !!! Great post.

  3. Funny. And if you take offense to this you need to lighten up!!

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